I know that every time I write one of my post that doesn't contain food or recipes I always say this is the last time or something along those lines, well I should stop doing that cause its not and it won't be.
As you may have noticed I haven't posted anything all summer. Well that is because I was working at a summer camp and didn't really have time for anything except sleep and to shower during my breaks, which were only an hour long maybe twice a day but always had an hour at night before you really did pass out (oh and lots of times I shoved my face with food then passed out, not the greatest thing to do but its what helped me survive).
So that sounds just about horrible, right, like why would anyone want to do that to themselves. Lots of reasons actually...
The first week of staff training I know I was thinking "Crap what did I just get myself into," along with countless other newbie counselors. But in the end I had a rough time getting myself to come back to the "real world." Camp lets you get away, be yourself, and forget about all the real world stuff you have to deal with on a regular basis. I wanted to run away and get as far as I could from life for the summer, I sucessfully did that plus got a bonus of great new friends, awesome memories, countless crazy stories that only camp people will get or ever really want to listen too, and a summer that I will never forget.
At church (both churches I happened to attend) today I was reminded of a few things: Hebrews 12:1-2 "...let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus...", God wants me to love myself, and we sang "I Will Follow" by Chris Tomlin. That song is why I went to camp. Didn't know a soul going there, just felt a calling to go. So I listened, I went, and I'm not 100% sure why I was being told to go but I have a few ideas why. For one, the campers. They were awesome, I learned a lot from them but gosh darn hope they learned a thing or two from me. The girls in my cabin (cabin 11 woot woot) were usually going to or in high school and as we all know that age is the most vulnerable. I hope a told them something that will help them get through this coming school year or just influenced them to be themselves and not conform to what society or their "friends" tell them to be. They were amazing individuals and I hope they stay that way for as long as they can.
I have been punched in the face with reality ever since I came back and a breather is all I am really asking for. And I sure did receive that after reading Hebrews today. So I'm going to keep praying that God will direct me (which I know he will but more so that I allow myself to be lead) towards the next door I have to open. Because being in the woods is looking better and better to me, forever. Peaceful, quite, the stars at night, the lake during the day, just all so calming. I miss it.
I was also reminded that Gods wants me to be happy, wants me to love myself, and that sometimes He speaks loudest to us in silence. An amazingly awesome person I met this summer reminded me of those three points this morning. She is a great speaker and will make a wonderful pastor someday. The love of God shines from her. God will help us reach all of those points we just need to take the time to stop, listen, and learn from ourselves what each of those things actually means to us. I thought about it I am happy overall, I do love myself and I'm trying to not be as hard on myself, and I'm working on being silent so I can hear God, but I sure did see Him all around me this summer.
So take the time, take a breath, and enjoy yourself before it becomes to late or before summer slips away completely.
Thanks for letting me rant about my thoughts and my summer. Recipes will be coming soon I have tons of ideas and I am itching to start creating some. <3
