The Story of Neiko's Birth

For those of you interested, and for myself so that I never forget this story, I want to write down how Neiko came into this world.

First off you are probably wondering where the name Neiko even came from. Well, it was a nickname of Nick's growing up. His mom would call him Nico. One morning Nick mentioned he no longer liked the name Bruce, yes he was going to be Bruce at one time, and then mentioned the name Nico. I looked it up and really liked it. Then me being me choose an interesting way to spell it. Sort of combining the Nico and Neko. And that was that. If you are wondering if we had a girl what the name would have been, it would have been Madelin, after my grandma's middle name. I have always loved that name and always wanted to name a daughter that.

So now the story:

As normal I woke up and worked out, not really thinking about what could be ahead of me that day. It wasn't a crazy workout but did have a lot of squats and wall sits in it, so my legs got a pretty good workout that morning. I had just hit 41 weeks (January 17th) and was scheduled to go for a non-stress test for baby and an ultrasound to check my amniotic fluid levels. The results showed baby's heart rate was low at its times of rest, but increased in a normal range at the time of movement. My heart rate is low and so is Nick's, so this didn't really raise too much of a concern to us or the midwife. She did want me to schedule another non-stress test for the next day to make sure everything was fine and that baby's heart rate really is that low. Then I had an internal exam done. The midwife stated I was 1 cm dilated, 50% effaced, and baby was in a -1 position in my pelvis. This way I knew if anyone asked me where I started from I could tell them. She then did a cervical sweep- that is what it sounds like. She took her finger and did a circle to separate the water sac from my cervix. And this is sort of a natural from of induction.

The car ride home was uncomfortable. I was starting to get cramps and Nick could tell I wasn't myself after that exam. I made the phone call to schedule my appointment for the next day and noticed my cramps were getting a bit intense. So I got home and asked my doula friend if cramps after an internal was normal, she reassured me that yes and gave me some advice to help continue the process along. I laid down to rest a bit and then got hungry. So I made myself some food, this is now about 6pm and the cramps were increasing in pain. I made Nick read me this meditation that the midwives gave me from a class I took with them, while I sat and did hip circles on my ball. We watched the recorded episode of Ink Masters and it was about 9pm at this point and I wanted to go lay down some more. So I tried. The pain was getting more and more. I realized these really are contractions and not just cramps. So we started to time them. The contractions were first 8 minutes apart and lasting 1-2 minutes long. I couldn't lay down anymore so I told Nick to rest while he could and went upstairs to labor a bit. I started out on the toilet- which is actually highly recommended. My mom set up the couch for me to labor on by layering blankets and towels because my water still had not broken. We piled up pillows for me to lean my upper body on and I would get on my knees and rock my hips back and forth when a contraction would hit. I went downstairs to grab a few things and Nick wasn't asleep so he came up to be with me while I labored. It was now about 11/11:30 at this point. I remember just wanting to throw up during this entire time, so there was a garbage pail by me at all times.

I had Nick call the midwife who was on call for advice because my contractions were about 5 minutes apart lasting 2 minutes or so. She recommended that I get in the tub for a bit, so I tried that and didn't really like it. My tub isn't that comfortable. That lasted for maybe 15 minutes and then I didn't want to be wet any more. I went back to the couch and would do my kneeling labor while Nick massaged my lower back during a contraction, that helped a lot. He would then massagem y head between contractions, which was wonderful. I would have walked around, as suggested by all for helping labor be more bearable, but my legs/body would shake uncontrollably between contractions, so all I could do was lay down. It was about 2am now and I was in a lot of pain and the contractions were just about the same in time/duration so we called the midwife again and told her I wanted to come now. We live about 40 minutes from Madison/Morristown- where the office/hospital is located, so I wanted to go. Putting on clothes was a challenge. I threw on a crappy workout bra, a fold over sweater, capri pants, socks, and my coat (belly all sorts of hanging out because I was hot and sweating). I made Nick freeze in the car ride there because I was so hot but shivering because of the hormones I guess. We beat the midwife to the office. She came about 10 minutes later. It was around 2:40am at this point.

I slowly walked up to the office, not really wanting to but rather just wanting to be at the hospital at this point. She had me use the bathroom before she examined me. I had my bloody show while in the car ride there. I told her that and she then examined me. I was 6 cm at this point and we were ready to go to the hospital. We all jumped back into our cars and drove the not even 10 minutes down the road to the hospital. On the way I had some very close together contractions. We got there, it's about 3am now, I waddled my way down the hall stopping at random chairs to get through a contraction. We got to the doors to get into labor and delivery. Buzzed and the front desk woman asked why we were there- um to have a baby?? We get up to the desk, the midwife arrived right behind us, and the lady asked me to check this bracelet, not to mention I was bent over having a contraction giving her the hold on a minute pointer finger. (Like hey lady can you see what I am going through- you may see this everyday but no I can't even think right now.) The midwife asked if Nick could check it, he did. The room wasn't ready yet, so we sat a minute while they checked the tubs. I had another contraction- intense. We walked to the room.

I was put on the monitor and they were checking my blood pressure. They had some questions for me and I would whisper my response to Nick. I had a few more contractions while on the monitor and then I was ready- ready to push. I had 2 of those sensations while on the monitor. My midwife checked me again and I was 10 cm. It was time. They asked if I wanted to get into the tub and I didn't just yet, so I pushed on the bed for a bit. I tired 3 different positions while on the bed. I turned around and pushed on my knees with my arms on the back of the bed and squatted down while I pushed. My body was still shaking between pushes so this position was too painful to stay in. I turned back around. I tried to push while on my side, sitting up, bringing my leg up and holding it. I did this on both sides and then wanted to get into the tub. While in the tub I tried squatting during a pushing sensation, turned around and would bring a knee to my armpit, then the other armpit, and then my midwife had me lay the short way in the tub. I would then bring my legs up and she held my feet, pushing them towards me, while I pushed. And that was the position that made the difference. I pushed a few more times that way and could see the little head coming out more and more with each push. Really I saw hair and wasn't sure what was going on, but I trusted my midwife and she said I was progressing nicely. I remember thinking how much longer of this at one point but never actually asked it. There was a phone call to my room. My mom had come and they wanted to know if she could join us in the room. I was so confused and said no at first then comprehended what I was asked and said yes. My water finally broke. My mom came in. I pushed 3 or 4 more times and the head came out fully. Nick was on my left side, my mom behind me. I pushed again, out came the body. I/the midwife pulled up the baby. We put the baby on my chest and the cries came. I was in such shock. I looked at the little face, beautiful, then turned my child around to see what the sex was- a boy. We all cried. It was such a moment of awe. He was here, finally here. So real, so tiny, so wonderful, so blessed. It was 4:44 am and my little Neiko was born.

We did a delayed clamping of the umbilical cord to allow for all blood flow from the placenta into the baby could happen. We weren't caving the cord blood or my placenta. Nick got to cut it after it was clamped. He then did skin on skin with his child. It was beautiful. I pushed out the placenta, it came out easily- 2 pushes. The water turned red once the blood was let loose in it. I got out of the tub and was slowly moved back to the bed. I was stitched up (only 4) and then put back to have my blood pressure monitored. Neiko was cleaned up a bit and then placed on me. We did skin to skin and we watched him move his way down to feed. He was so tiny. Actually 6.6 lbs. That was all we knew at that time. I breastfeed him for a little while being monitored. Then it was time to move to my recovery room.

After watching a video Nick took later, the midwife did say that when I first started pushing that was the earliest she had seen the head, I think it was all those squats haha. I still wanted to throw up while laboring/pushing. And they would monitor my and the baby's heart rate after each push. But the entire natural thing was worth it. Natural childbirth is painful, I'm not going to lie. I do remember saying to my mom while at home drugs I want drugs but deep down I really didn't. I know my body was made for this, able to bare this, and God was helping me through it. I just needed to focus. I was able to calm down and breathe deep during contractions. Pushing, that was a whole different story. I didn't breathe well while I pushed, I was just so focused on pushing. It was so different and foreign. You don't know exactly where/how to but you do at the same time. It is hard to explain. I also made a lot of nose while pushing. It hurt, so I was vocal about it. Just yells and grunts more than actual words. My midwife did say try to focus that power into the push instead of voicing it because you will go horse the next day (I did). She also told me to get 2-3 pushes or longer pushes with each push contraction. I tried but it didn't always happen. I still got my little Neiko out and it was about an hour of pushing, give or take.

Neiko stayed in my room the entire time we were in the hospital. That first night was an experience. Nurses constantly in and out, taking blood (from my baby), checking in, it was exhausting. Neiko also had bad gas, so I was learning how to comfort him and relieve that for him. I was by myself that first night. Nick was exhausted, he never got the rest I wished him too the night before. Trying to sleep in a hospital is a joke, so I told him to go home. I was fine and had the help of the nurses if need be. He felt guilty but I needed him to be the sane one for once. I had my little man on my chest a lot that night trying to comfort him, his head full of hair rubbing under my chin was heaven. Even though it was not allowed, he and I would dose off a little together, then someone would come in and awake me. We learned a lot together that first night, my little boy and I. Also, I sang "Happy Birthday" to him. Nick and I have our own version, so now the tradition shall be passed on to little man.

Finally Saturday hit and we were able to go home. Neiko had his circumcision that morning (we wanted to be out by Friday, I was totally up for it, but we had to wait on the surgeon to come). By 1 pm we were home at last with our little love. And now the true fun, learning, and forever firsts have begun.

My little Neiko, I am so happy to have you here. I do miss you moving around in me, but holding you, seeing you, smelling you, and hearing you makes it all worth it. I love you my little fox and I thank God each day for blessing your dad and I with you and the responsibility of raising you.