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Thursday, February 28, 2013

Lately

What have I been up to lately... well quite a few recipe fails actually. I have been trying really hard to make something worth posting but recently my tries haven't been worth it. I'm contributing my mishaps to not being in the right mind frame lately. I've been going through some things and just haven't been in a creative mind set, or rather my creative mind set tastes better than the actual items I have been coming up with.

My dinner tonight I thought was going to be a win but not so much. I had a left over baked potato some peppers and tomatoes and thought yum I can mix this all up into a hash like thing (not sure what is up with me and these hash like dishes lately but I'm going with it). The mix of the sweet peppers and tomatoes were just way too sweet for me. I didn't really care for the dish, I ate it all, but didn't really care for it. I had added smoked sweet paprika (the same spice I usually use to make my bacon chick peas) and cumin, but that didn't add or over power the sweetness. The potatoes were yummy though.

Up next I tried to make my own cashew butter. Fail, well not completely. I did make some sort of cashew butter, it just wasn't like store bought. I knew it wasn't going to be, but was sort of hoping it would.
It was good with the banana mixed in with mango and oranges.

I made my yummy banana chia spiced dip like stuff for breakfast with it one day.
At least my bacon chick peas made the dinner better.

Then I tried to make carrot hummus or dip like stuff- nasty!! Do not mix lemon juice and roasted carrots. I couldn't get past the taste of the two. The idea was there, maybe a go back and play with the recipe eventually.
It actually was good with a banana, oh and thanks Ebony for my new awesome mug!!

So I wanted to try and make peanut butter crackers or my own peanut butter puffins. Fail, they just weren't peanut buttery enough for me. They were good though, I will try to make these again maybe with actual peanut butter. I mixed powdered peanut butter with garbanzo flour and caraway seeds. It was good just not up to par. So powdered peanut butter? What? Yea most grocery stores are carrying it now. Just mix water with the recommended amount (like a tablespoon I believe) and you get a lower fat/ low cal peanut butter. I just wanted it to use a peanut flour because I have been trying to find it and can't, guess I have to buy it online. I see all these blog people using it and I want some!! Any suggestions where to find some? Thanks.

One good thing I did end up making was a pumpkin cake thing. Just nix the coconut (I only have huge flaked coconut and tried to grind it smaller, not so tasty in the cake, maybe toasted it will be better). It was just a pumpkin spice cake.

One win, so not total fails. I'm going to be trying harder, promise.

Can't believe it's going to be March, spring break right around the corner! What to do? Spring cleaning!!

Until I make something recipe worth posting <3

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Hashtag

#sweet potato spinach hash

Oh the joys of current social media.

I have been wanting to make a sweet potato hash for a while now but just haven't gotten around to it, until now. Most people peel their sweet potatoes but did you know that you do not have to. The skin on most veggies and fruits (the edible ones) have more nutrients then the actual flesh or "meat" of the veg or fruit. So eat more skin! Just make sure you wash it. When I was taking cooking classes some of the people in class skipped this step, please don't, I don't care if it is getting cooked, its just gross.  Sorry for my little rant. Anyway, hash. I really like greens and have been lacking them in my diet for the past two weeks or so, I'm eating as much as I can.

Sweet Potato Spinach Hash

1 medium or two baby sweet potatoes, cubed
2 cups baby spinach
1/4 cup chestnuts, chopped or hazelnuts, pecans, cashews, your favorite
1/8 teaspoon each salt, pepper, coriander, nutmeg, allspice
1 teaspoon walnut oil or olive oil

Heat a saute pan, add in the potatoes and some water to just cover the potatoes. Bring to a boil and let all the water boil off. (Funny my mom sees me doing this and asked, "What would you call this cooking technique? Pan boiling.? haha)

Once all the water is gone, add in the spices and oil and chestnuts.

Add in the spinach, slowly so that is starts to wilt.

Heat through, add in more water if any sticking occurs, then just let the water cook out. I did do this to get all the spices and starch that came off the potatoes to add it back to the whole dish.

You may be thinking, no cinnamon? I thought about it but went with nutmeg and allspice to still give that lovely spice goodness taste but not to over powering spice flavor. Plus nutmeg pairs well with greens, not so sure cinnamon would have gone to nicely, I know I would love the combo, but its not always just about me. I also happen to really like chestnuts. Especially when they are on sale because the season is over (holiday season when we see them so available). They add a nice sweetness to the dish but hazelnuts would have been my first choice, I just didn't have any on hand. I need to make a Trader Joe's run to stock up on my nuts, but can't until I get some tax refunds back. Oh and I bet kale would have been just as good as spinach in this dish. Next time I get some purple potatoes I might try making a hash out of them, fun!

Oh and remember that breakfast I have been so addicted to lately, I really should have been taking more pics of it because I have also made cinnamon raisin peanut butter with apples and cinnamon peanut butter with mango and oranges. Strange but sooo good. I'm now out of all my nut butters so I have to come up with a new breakfast until I restock.

<3

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

That Time of the Year

Happy Valentine's Day!!

I cannot believe it is February 14th already. Another Valentine's Day has come upon us and I hope you all are having a wonderful one. As we know this day is usually flooded with chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate recipes. Well I am switching things up this year! I do not have a chocolate recipe for you, no, I have something even better...veggies...haha. I'm not lying though. For real I put veggies in my recipe.

Orange Carrot Cupcakes

2 cups whole wheat white flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons ginger
1/4 teaspoon cloves
1/4 teaspoon allspice
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1/2 cup unsweetened coconut
2 tablespoons flaxmeal
1 tablespoon chia seeds (can omit)
2 tablespoons water
1/2 cup coconut palm sugar
1 cup orange juice (if fresh with zest)
1 cup grated carrots
1/4 cup water or 1/2 cup oil

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Spray a 12 cup cupcake pan with nonstick spray or line with cupcake liners.

Combine the flaxmeal, chia seeds, and 2 tablespoon of water, set aside to gel up.

Mix the flour, baking powder and soda,  coconut, salt and spices together.

Add in the carrots, sugar, flaxmeal/chia "egg", and the orange juice. If the batter is too thick add in more water. If you want to use the oil add it in with the above ingredients and the batter will be just fine.

Divided among the cupcake pan. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes, turning the pan halfway through baking.

For the frosting I used coconutmana (coconut butter) with some red food dye to make it pink. I found this all natural, veggie based food dye at Whole Foods on sale back in December. My original purpose for purchasing it was to make vegan seven layer cookies for Christmas, but never got around to making it. So Valentine's Day frosting is my first use of it.

Well enjoy your day with your loved one, friends, and dates =]

<3

enjoy this little song

(not the best version but I couldn't find anything better)

Saturday, February 9, 2013

What is Too Much Cinnamon?

Is there such a thing as too much? I think not!!

Before I start I first want to say thank you all so much for reading my last entry. I really took a leap putting my story out there and it was really welcomed so thank you all for the support!

Back to cinnamon... we all know I have a passion (not just love) for the spice. I have been probably going a little over board on it lately.

I had made cinnamon raisin bread a few weeks ago (I meant to post the recipe for the bread but never got around to that sorry) it was just like some bread recipes i have posted in the past. Just this had a 10 grain breakfast hot cereal added to the mix to make it really whole grain! Lots of spice, even more from the cinnamon raw honey, and golden raisins. The real reason I never posted the recipe for the bread is because I didn't write down the recipe as I was making it thinking oh I'll do it soon enough that I will remember what I did. Ha nope! My bad.

What does one eat on or with cinnamon raisin bread? Well peanut butter sandwiches are great on the bread or how about with some butternut squash soup?

Roasted Butternut Squash Soup

1 cup roasted squash (I had frozen some from when I roasted some squash in anticipation of making the soup.
1 1/2 cups vegetable stock or broth
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon, coriander, and ginger
1/8 teaspoon nutmeg, cloves, allspice, salt and pepper

Heat the squash (mine was still frozen) in a sauce pan.

Add in the spices to let them heat up and bring out their flavors.

Add in the stock and let it heat up. Either place the soup into a blender, food processor, or using a hand blender- blend the soup until smooth.

Place back on the heat and let the soup simmer. You may need to add more stock in depending on how thick you want the soup to be.

Just to start my days off lately I have been having cinnamon in the morning too! Yay! I mix a nut butter (1 1/2 tablespoons) of choice with a mashed ripe banana and lots of cinnamon! I mean lots, probably a tablespoon plus. And then I cut up an apple and dip the apple in the cinnamon mix. So good. So far I have tried making it with every nut butter I have had in my pantry like almond, cashew, and peanut. My favorites are either almond and cashew. I made up this breakfast because I found some almond butter that was going to expire (or perhaps it had already and I refused to toss it, it was only a week or so expired) so I made up a quick eat and fell in love with it. I've been eating it for the past few weeks now for breakfast.

Thanks again for the love and support!!

<3

Saturday, February 2, 2013

ME

So this post isn't going to be about food, instead it is to get some things off my mind. So feel free to skip reading if you really only read to see a new recipe. I won't be offended. Just know that what I am about to say is rather personal and I felt a need to share, so you never know, it could help you in some way you never expected but honestly I'm writing all this because I felt like I need to... with that said I shall start, not sure how long this is going to get...

To start off I just want to say thanks to those of you that do read my blog and I try not to get too personal in my postings because that was never my purpose for this blog. I just really wanted to share my passion of food, cooking, and baking with people that cared. So thanks so much for your support.

Being a vegetarian has become such a huge part of me, for reasons other than health or  humanity aspects like some others but I guess I really enveloped the life style because it is easier to hide in it. By which I mean you can restrict foods and you have a reason to, its built into the meaning of the word. Then being a vegan you can restrict even more, which could be even more perfect if you have the wrong reasons in becoming a vegan. I guess I did lie to myself putting tons of restrictions on the way I ate saying "Oh I'm doing this to be healthier" or "Oh this is for all the right reasons nothing really hidden here." Lies that's what they were.

I didn't fully understand what I was doing at the time but slowly an eating disorder crept into my life. How could this happen, you may ask yourself. Wouldn't you be fully aware if that was happening? Well yes and no. Funny thing is I was going to school (still am) for nutrition, so I should have known better. I just tend to react a lot differently to things, circumstances, then others. My brain likes to shut things off. Turn away, sweep it away and not look into it any further. Which is how I got to the point of my lowest- everything. I never let myself pay attention to what I was actually doing to myself. I just kept doing it not thinking about the future. Which took a huge toll on me. People that cared and love me were starting to notice, starting to see I wasn't right, I wasn't quite me any more. I lost that person somewhere on the road of having a disorder. (Just so you know I still hate saying that, it makes me feel like I'm weak or crazy because it happened to me but I'm not, if anything I'm really stronger because of it, I'll explain that more later.) So when did things fall apart for me?

I guess when I was 98lbs buying size 0 jeans when I knew that my body just didn't fit into that reality. I never wanted to be that way, never wanted a size 0. I remember saying to the girl at the store that I couldn't get myself to buy that size cause I shouldn't be that size. She probably thought I was crazy saying that because most females want to be a 0. Well I looked gross, really gross. I had weird bones protruding out of me, you could see every vertebrae in my back, I was getting strange spots on my skin where the bones would rub against my clothes. It was gross. I was dreading summer to have to wear a bathing suit and people would see how I really looked. My stomach also started to act strange. I wasn't ever really hungry, but I knew I had to eat, and when I would it hurt. I would get heart burn (but that isn't really the best way to describe how it felt) but I would feel like a rock was in my stomach and throat. So I went to the doctor to try to figure out what was wrong. I also went to go talk to someone to help me get better a therapist. At the time I was still against admitting I have a problem. But there is a new form of eating disorders not very known but it does exist called orthorexia. You become too strict on eating healthy and one takes it too the extreme.

For me to get better I had to change a lot about me. I was also, still am but not to the extreme anymore, a germaphobe. So I had to loosen up, eat more, allow myself to eat foods I restricted, and to find myself again. I knew this was going to be a long process. Because it wasn't just a food and health thing I was going to try to fix it was and is also mental. Something that you never get away from. All those years of me sweeping things under the rug, not looking back, trying to forget, not really dealing with the problem took its toll on me. Sad to say I was still very faithful, going to church, praying, but something was missing in my walk with God. I now know it was full trust. I have always had faith in God but never developed that trust in Him that He did know what was best for me, that He does know, and that He was going to use anything and anyway to get to me. So it that was an eating disorder, well He knows His plan for me and if that was the only way to get through to me, it worked. But still on my walk with Him I faced many challenges only to learn now that He was holding my hand the entire time waiting for me to realize it.

I now love me (working on it) but I can really say that I do. The other day at school one of the ladies in my class called her friend fat. (She, well neither of them are fat, but the one did just have a baby and that's why she called her fat.) I made a comment like hey watch it. She is Jamaican and said right your are of a different culture and take offense to things like that. I never thought of it that way. But then we were comparing fat rolls (haha yes I know such a womanly thing to do to boost confidence in ones body) but I said you know what I am proud of my fat. It took me a long time to get it back on my body. They looked at me like what?? I just mentioned I was too thin at one point and now I appreciate my fat, my body, for what it is. I am healthy, it functions properly, and sure I would like a 6 pack or at least a flat stomach, but that takes a lot of work. And I like food. I love to work out so yes I could train a bit harder, which I am starting to do, change my routine up more now, to get results I really want, but I no longer will restrict things from my diet just because. I know better than that now. Moderation! Running, I love running. Those endorphins just fuel me. That runners high. I could never give that up. I sometimes crave it, like I need to work out to get that feeling whenI'm stressed or upset. I still get in those moods where I don't feel like working out but I know how I will feel afterwards and that gives me the boost to go and do it. Beside no one else is going to do it for me.

God has given me many talents that I have taken for granted in the past. My ability to care, read peoples emotions, pay attention, listen, give advise, and to allow myself to be overcome by others emotions, to really understand what it is they are facing. These talents along with my own life experiences have molded me into the person, the woman, I am now. Even though I feel a little lost on my journey in life, I do trust God that I am on the right path, His path for me. I did all that I had to do, all that I had to face, all to lead me to where I am today. The mind is a very powerful thing, interesting and makes me want to understand it. Understand others. What makes them tick. Why they eat the way they do. What molded them into the person they are now. How actions and in actions have made them into the person they are now. I still have a deep passion for food and nutrition but I know that I'm suppose to help others. That my journey is now to finish school, become an RD, become a therapist, and pursue a career in helping people get better with their own eating disorders.

I'm not saying that I am 100% better with my own, I still have a lot to work on. But I am on the right path of getting better. I understand why I have gone through my challenges, because God knew I would be able to come out of them a stronger happier person, a better me. A me He always knew I would be, could be. I know it is going to take me forever to get to where I hope to be with my own practice or working in a school system as a therapist, and I know I have a lot of schooling to complete before I even get there. But bring it on! I'm finally ready to do this. It took me a long time to come to the decision for myself, to do it for me, no one else. If I help just one other person then it will be worth it. I didn't help that person for me but it was for God because He knew that I would be the only one to help and that amazes me. That my life is so much bigger then I really think.

Thank you to all of you (you know who you are) that have molded me, shaped me, challenged me, loved me, helped me, and have been inspirations to me. Without you in my life I would have never become me. My next chapter in life is going to be great and I can't wait to share it with all of you, here.

I know this was super personal and I thank you for all those that stuck it out and read it all. This was just something I felt like I had to share, God put it in my heart on my mind to let it be told. I needed to be held accountable. For what, well when I start saying I don't want to go down my path any more whether it be with school or my recovery, I just will have to come back to this post and remember it is all for a bigger reason. I also have a tendency that when things get hard I make excuses, and it is no longer time for excuses its time for actions. Its my time to make things happen for the good, for me, and for others around me. I'm no longer waiting on the side line of life. Nope.

I know I had a few other things I wanted put in this little lament of mine (when I had it written out in my head I touched on other things that right now I can't remember) and I hate that I can't remember what they were. Things always sound sooo much better in my head then when I actually try to get them out.

Here is to the next chapter!

<3